


mark lee, you're a dense motherfucker

by chimerity



Series: NCT hogwarts AU where everyone's dumb AF [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hogwarts AU, Humor, M/M, Mark Lee is oblivious, Pining, johnten if you squint, markhyuck, nct - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-14
Updated: 2018-11-14
Packaged: 2019-08-23 08:55:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16615868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chimerity/pseuds/chimerity
Summary: mark lee doesn't really mind, when it comes to the slytherin who sneaks into his room at midnight, with a mischievous smile, and vials of ingredients in hand.





	mark lee, you're a dense motherfucker

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this, because my friend said i couldn't write 5k. 
> 
> thanks to my shitty-ass beta reader for forcing me to do this shit. ILY <3

Mark woke up with a start, when he felt a familiar weight land on the side of his bed. He didn’t even need to open his eyes to know who it was.

“Hi Markie! I need a place to hide.” 

Donghyuck’s voice was in a manner that was too enthusiastic for the time of the day. He slid into the covers of Mark’s bed, as if it was a regular thing to do.

“You’re an idiot,” chastised Mark. His eyes adjusted to the scene, blinking at the silhouette of the other boy. “What did you do this time?”

Donghyuck shrugged. Mark knew that Donghyuck wasn’t going to say anything. 

By his silence, Mark could only assume that Ten had enlisted him to do something stupid. Since no one would ever suspect Donghyuck (the boy that acted like the epitome of the sun) to steal, Ten would always bribe Donghyuck to do things for him.

Mark noticed a tiny object hidden in the Slytherin’s shirt, suspiciously in the shape of a glass bottle.

“What the everloving fuck did Ten-hyung bribe you with?” Mark hisses. He tried not to wake up Jeno, who was probably dead asleep, and who most likely already hated the shit out of both Mark and Donghyuck. “You’ve got to stop hiding yourself in my dorm when you steal. Specifically, in my fucking bed, especially at ass o’clock at night!”

“It’s hard to get Dragon’s Breath! It’s a rare substance!” protested Donghyuck. “It’s for the sake of potions, and because Ten-hyung bribed me. But, it was mainly for the sake of potions!”

“You could’ve been expelled, if you were caught.” hissed Mark in exasperation. “Please get through fifth year at least.”

“But I didn’t get expelled yet. I feel like you're setting me up to fail or something with this requirement,” retorted Donghyuck playfully. It wasn’t the first time Donghyuck entered the Gryffindor Common Room in the middle of the night, holding some mysterious bundle in his hand, explaining how his Ten-hyung had bribed him. Funny enough, he never told Mark what Ten had bribed him with (Mark just hoped that it wasn’t anything dangerous, or potentially harmful).

“Couldn’t you have made your getaway to your own dungeons instead?” Mark questioned, who couldn’t care less about the fact that Donghyuck had crawled into his bed at ass o’clock at night, with vials of slightly illegal ingredients shoved somewhere in his pocket.

(To be honest, Mark has gotten used to it. Ever since they were kids, Mark has always been the refuge for the younger’s tactics).

“I’m just avoiding suspicion, Markie!” Donghyuck smirks. “If I’m here, they’ll suspect that a Gryffindor took the Dragon’s breath instead. Not that I would ever get caught, of course.”

Wasn’t that Donghyuck’s excuse last time, too?

“God fucking damn it stop trying to frame me for thievery.”

“I'm framing the general Gryffindor population, don’t feel too special.”

Mark was too tired to care at this point. All he thought was that Donghyuck’s excuse sounded oddly like something Ten-hyung would use. Perhaps Donghyuck was hanging out way too much with Ten. 

“Asshole,” Mark muttered, no malice in his voice.

In the dark, he hears the younger snort, “you know you love me. Now move the fuck over, I want to cuddle.”

“Next time, you’re going to be sleeping in your own damn bunk.” 

A lie. Mark had been saying that ever since the first time Donghyuck decided to “drop in”. Mark never quite followed through with his words, didn’t he?

The main problem, was that Mark could never say no to Donghyuck.

With few blinks and a smile, Mark instantly gives in. 

No matter how ridiculous the request was.

Just meant they had a great friendship, right?

-x-

Mark studying in the library, with the memories of last night in the back of his mind. He was attempting to focus on his mountain-pile of homework, trying to get it all done. Strewn around him were quills, parchment, and an odd, slightly-out-of-place ballpoint pen.

The library was the only place where he wasn’t constantly with Donghyuck, mainly because the younger boy preferred the Slytherin Commons. Although he wished Donghyuck would drop by to study with him at least once in his entire career as a student.

Someone suddenly stops his train of thought, and drapes themselves on the chair adjacent of his own. Mark didn’t even have to look up, to guess who was about to pester him. It wasn’t because he was super perceptive or anything, it was because he saw a flash of white as whoever it was sat down. And only his brother was stupid enough to dye his hair white (and only his brother could pull it off without looking like a granny).

“You know, it wouldn’t hurt to get a fucking girlfriend or boyfriend, whatever your preference is.” Taeyong crossed his arms. “Or, you should just get your shit together, and date the boy you’ve been pining after.” Taeyong rolled his eyes, muttering about how unfair it was that his little brother had a sweeter love life than he did.

“The point is for you to get a distraction from your unnatural obsession with schoolwork.” Taeyong sighs, before starting to tidy up the mess Mark had made on the table. Stacked books, notes, quills, and a singular ballpoint pen that Johnny-hyung had gifted Mark (it had came in a pack, but he had already used every other one, as they were so much easier to use than quills, a lot less messy too).

Mark looked up from the giant scribble, which was supposed to be his essay (who even understood history of magic anyway? Completely trashy subject, in his unbiased opinion). “What do you mean?”

“You need to get a-“

“No, what do you say, about me pining after a boy?”

Taeyong scoffed. “I always forget how oblivious you were.”

“To put what your brother wants to say bluntly, you really have no life,” piped a voice behind Taeyong, who simply sighed.

“Hello to you too, Ten-hyung.” Said Mark, stiffening as soon as he saw Ten. Natural instinct to anyone around Ten, except for a select few.

Ten smiled innocently. Mark would’ve been fooled by Ten’s natural adorableness, if it wasn’t for the fact he knew that the Slytherin boy was one of the most manipulative pieces of shit he has ever met. 

“I heard some interesting rumours,” sang the Slytherin, “About a certain Lee Donghyuck stealing from our dear head of house, and then taking refuge in a certain boy’s bed.”

“Don't know what you're talking about,” Mark shook his head, feigning oblivion. “You should really stop getting Hyuck to do your dirty work at night. What if he gets caught?”

“Sure sure, it’s not like the professor would really murder his favourite Potions prodigy. And even if Donghyuck did get caught, I’ll get him out of it.” Ten waved him off absentmindedly. “You honestly worry too much, Mark. Now if you’ll excuse us, I need Taeyong-hyung for a very important matter.” 

“Is it a crush? Or is it Ten-hyung trying corrupt someone again?”

Taeyong laughed, “it’s Ten, what do you expect?”

“What do you mean? I am beyond hurt that you would accuse me of corrupting someone, or even targeting them! I wouldn’t do such a thing!” Protested Ten in mock innocence. “It’s completely beyond me to do such a-“

Taeyong sighed, “You’re laying it on too thick. But why Youngho? Out of literally everyone.”

The name finally registered in his brain. “You like Johnny-hyung? Like the nice prefect? The one who may or may not have a secret stash of banned shit hidden in his suitcase?”

“Hentai?!” (In the background, Taeyong sighed, asking himself why of all things in the muggle world, the only thing that Ten could actually remembered was hentai, or maybe Ten just did that to torture him).

Mark gave him a weird look, “Of course not. Just a couple of exploding candies that he made himself, and a few muggle devices. Did you know Spotify premium works even in hogwarts? That’s amazing technology right there.”

Taeyong stifled a laugh, “are you sponsored, Minhyun?”

“I fucking wish I was.”

“Yes, yes, and Taeyongie-hyung’s about to tell me about a certain….” Ten faded off, looking at Taeyong expectantly.

“So you do like Johnny-hyung!”

“Of course not. Why would I even like someone? There’s nothing I can get out of a crush” Ten scoffed, as if the thought of having a crush was below him. “Now if you’ll excuse me, there’s an illegal use of Amortentia happening in five minutes. Not that I helped with instigating it at all, but I would really not want to miss out on it. It’s just been such a long time since I’ve seen such stupid and meaningless pining, not counting Taeyong and his crush on that Gryffindor boy–”

“I. Do. Not. Have a crush.” Taeyong growled darkly, spitting out each word.

“Is that why you definitely didn’t blush when he threw his arm around you?” Ten adds. “Of course there are a lot of other incidents, and our dear Taeyongie-hyung blushed every time.”

Taeyong glared at him, punching him in the arm, “I did not blush,” he hissed. 

“He’s a panicked gay!” Sang Ten, smirking at the Ravenclaw, “how adorable. Look at the power of denial.”

Taeyong turned towards Mark, his cheeks red, “I need to go do something. Have fun studying,” he said hurriedly before going.

Before Taeyong completely disappeared from sight, he turned back around one more time to say something.

“Stop letting Hyuck sleep in your bed, especially if he had just stolen an ingredient for one of Ten’s ‘elaborate schemes’. Jeno was complaining about how you guys woke him up.”

“G-Got it.”

Taeyong nodded before he slipped away, with Ten following right behind him, smiling sweetly. By the looks of it, Ten was trying to convince Taeyong to help with something. It wasn’t working, as Taeyong still remained as steel-faced as ever. 

-x-

“What did you do this time?” Asked Mark in complete exasperation. Although he wasn’t at all surprised. Donghyuck’s antics simply didn’t surprise him anymore. Not since the turkey incident in second year (Mark shuddered thinking back to the arensal of gobble gobbles).

Mark only wanted to grab one of the good armchairs by the fire, before Donghyuck slipped through the Gryffindor portrait. “And how the hell do you even know our password?”

“I asked someone for it, obviously,” Donghyuck smiled, as he basically threw himself onto the armchair beside him, putting his feet up onto Mark’s lap, who sighs in defeat.

“You asked Ten-hyung, didn’t you?” Mark stared. “I hope you didn’t have to pay a lot to know what our password is.”

Donghyuck nodded proudly. “Who do you think I am? Some drug smuggler? All I did in exchange was telling him where a certain minion of his was hiding. Ten-hyung isn’t very happy about it at all. But even if I didn’t, hyung would’ve definitely gave it to me for free, he adores me, remember?”

“How do you know where the minion was, if even Ten-hyung didn’t know? Doesn’t he have eyes literally everywhere?”

“Because Markie, Ten-hyung never steps foot in the library to check on anything.” replied Donghyuck matter-of-factly. “There’s only one reason he’s scouting the minion himself and that’s because Johnny- oh shit I’m not supposed to say anything about yet that.”

It was true. Ten never felt the need to study there. Instead, he chooses to sprawl out across his bed with a mess of notes. Mark had only knew about this from Yuta-hyung, and his frequent tendencies to complain about Ten’s annoying habits. Ten didn’t exactly liked divulging any information about himself. But what did it have to do with Johnny?

Mark shrugged it off, not really caring. It was Ten’s life, not his.

Mark was sketched out. “And since when did you step foot into the library? You never accompany me there.” Other than the odd trips to the kitchen, and the way-too-regular-invasions to the Gryffindor Commons, Donghyuck never really left the dungeons. 

(Except the fact that it was more common to spot him with a certain Gryffindor, rather than in his being spotted in his own goddamn dorm).

“Ten-hyung told me to scout it out.”

“Do I even know what you got bribed with this time?”

When all he had as a response was an ominous shrug, Mark decided he would not press Donghyuck any further. In cases like this, Mark found it easier to not get involved in the black market deals that Ten makes.

Mark continued to stare blankly at his paper, about some random and completely irrelevant Goblin War (Not that it made any sense to him at all). 

The only person he knew that could tolerate History of Magic lessons was Johnny-hyung, and that didn’t count, since Johnny was just way too smart for his own good. Honestly, he should’ve been in Ravenclaw (fucking nerd).

“Oh shit. I knew I forgot to do something!” Exclaimed Donghyuck, staring at Mark’s homework paper. “Can I please copy off you?”

Mark stared blankly, struggling to say no.

“Please?” 

“Do the homework yourself, Hyuck.” 

“Pretty please?” Donghyuck pouts.

Mark sighed. At the end, he couldn’t bring it to himself to say no to Donghyuck “Fine. Just don’t forget to do it next time, okay?”

He knew deep inside, that even if Donghyuck forgot his to do all his assignments(for the rest of the year), he’d still let him copy off of his own work. Even if Donghyuck used the same excuse every time.

“I won’t!” Donghyuck smiled. 

Mark may have felt his heat up a little at the smile, but he blamed it onto the heat of the fire, after all, what else could it be?

-x-

“Wanna hear the funniest joke?” asked Donghyuck as he sat down in the Gryffindor table. He nudged Mark lightly. “Move the fuck over, bitch.” 

Mark complied, even going as far to move his plate slightly to the left.

Jeno glanced up from his notes, a chicken drumstick in one hand, his quill in the other. “Are you here again? Can’t you stay in your own damn table for once?”

Johnny nudged Jeno slightly. “Sure, as if you don’t want to go over to the Hufflepuffs to see a certain somebody.” Jeno turned a flattering pink at the prefect’s statement (nothing looked unflattering on that fucker, it was unfair).

Across the great hall, a certain Na Jaemin sneezed.

Jeno scoffs. He looks up, his face in mild surprise this time. 

“Hey, Johnny-hyung. I’m pretty sure I just heard a giant explosion.”

Johnny’s eyes widened in horror. “Oh, fuck no. I’m not dealing with that shit.”

Johnny immediately stands up, looking left and right. He grabs a handful of pumpkin pastries, then he bolts at the speed of light. Mark didn’t even know that the Prefect could run so fast (He didn’t even know Johnny’s lazy ass was capable of running.)

Maybe it was because of the chain of random-completely-harmless-but-extremely-messy explosions that were happening lately, that every prefect, head boy, and girl had to handle. Mark should really ask Ten about it, since the Slytherin knew almost everything.

(Correction.. His minions did.)

Donghyuck coughed, “Now, back to the most important damn person in this fucking table, aka me–” 

“Please don’t tell me you’re going to repeat Jungwoo-hyung’s jokes to the whole entire Gryffindor table.” Mark was already anticipating the groans of exasperation.

Donghyuck snorted. “Nope! No matter how uwu Jungwoo-hyung is, I most definitely won’t sit for an hour, rambling on with his ridiculous muggle jokes.”

“Did you just call Jungwoo-hyung uwu? I’m disowning you. Friendship card found dead in a ditch.”

Donghyuck just laughed, attaching himself to Mark. “You love me too much, Markie.” 

In the background, Jeno gagged in disgust, partly wishing he didn’t scare Johnny away. 

(Third wheeling was a bitch, wasn’t it?)

“I do?” Mark joked, before reverting back to the topic at hand. “What joke did you want to tell me?”

Donghyuck froze. His eyes blinked. “.....You fuckers made me forget.”

“Watch that motherfucking-language. I did not fucking raise you to be like this,” sang Ten, who appeared from thin air. He pinched on the nape of Donghyuck’s neck (Handling Donghyuck like a tiny kitten). 

“Come with me, Donghyuckie. I need help with a couple of… Minor things!” Ten pulled a smug smile, still managing to look angelic.  
“It’s incredibly urgent, and all my other minions are completely useless at the moment. Not to mention completely hopeless at thieving.”

Mark had almost forgot about the abnormal amount of people in this school: The ones that owed Ten favours, the amount of the people that he was blackmailing, along with the amount of people who simply looked up to Ten, enough to do anything as he asked.

He took a moment to be thankful, for being on Ten’s good side.

“Don’t get him into any trouble,” Mark frowned.

Ten pouted cutely, dragging Donghyuck away. “Don’t worry, I’ll bring your boyfr-” Ten paused. “I’ll bring your Hyuckie back to you. Safe, and reasonably unharmed.”

Not exactly reassuring, but Ten had brought back Donghyuck safe, all those other times. 

Mark watched as Ten dragged his best friend away, with Donghyuck whining the entire time.

-x-

There were many things that Mark regrets doing.

Things like trying to steal Jisung’s food (not once, ever since the incident), the time he taught Ten-hyung monopoly (within his first ever rounds of playing the game, the Slytherin had managed to put Jaemin, Yuta and Mark at the verge of bankruptcy), and even worse, the time he decided it was a good idea to try to educate Chenle about the muggle world. Chenle wouldn’t stop saying ‘wig’ for a week straight.

Mark cringes just thinking about it. Hell, even Ten cringes, and he’s not even remotely educated about the muggle world. 

But one thing he never regretted doing, was trusting his best friend with Ten. 

Surely enough, Donghyuck showed up in the Gryffindor dormitories tonight, with a package shoved under his shirt, perfectly unharmed. 

Ten-hyung is trustworthy enough, he supposes.

At least that’s what Donghyuck tells him, reassuringly. 

To be honest, no one had gotten expelled yet. Well no one that Ten likes had ever gotten expelled yet (there was this one incident in his first year, but Renjun did not let anyone to ever talk about it).

Mark sleepily opened one eye, seeing a Slytherin emblem on the latter’s cloak..

“Do I even want to know what Ten-hyung asked you to do?” Mark muttered tiredly.

“Nope!” Donghyuck cheered, as he sat down on the side of Mark’s bed. Mark felt the familiar weight once again. 

“Don’t worry though, I’m perfectly safe.”

“I can tell.” remarked Mark dryly. “I swear, I think I might need some dirt on Ten-hyung to back me up, in case anything ever happens to you.”

“Good luck with that. It’s impossible to get any dirt on Ten-hyung. It’s impossible finding anything that will phase him.”

Mark sighed, running his hand through his hair. “You should really stop coming into my goddamn dorm, you loser. Would it kill you to go to with your Slytherins for once?”

“Like you even care, Markie. You know you love me too much, to make me leave in this very cold and dangerous night.”

Mark knew that Donghyuck was right. He’d never kick the Slytherin out, not even if they were at the risk at losing a few house points.

Across the dark room, they hear Jeno screech. “Get yourselves a fucking room! I’m trying to fucking sleep!”

Mark sighed. “Sorry, Jeno.”

But Donghyuck simply giggled, “Jealous?”

Even in the dark, Mark could see the vague silhouette of a very vulgar gesture coming from Jeno’s bunk. He wondered how the innocent boy even knew of such gestures. He blamed Renjun. Along with that, the Chinese boy was probably the one to blame for teaching Jeno an arsenal of Chinese swears.

“Hey Markie,” stage-whispered Donghyuck, “I think he wished a certain Hufflepuff is here.”

Jeno lets out a groan of loud suffering. “Why does everyone, but him, know about this?! Why am I even friends with you dumb fucks?!”

Donghyuck shrugged, while snuggling closer to Mark, mumbling indecipherable words under his breath, as his eyelids drooped with slumber.

If you asked Mark Lee right now, on why his cheeks felt like they were burning, he’d say it was excess body heat. 

Not because they were bright red, or anything! But because there was no reason other than the body heat that made his cheeks flame up, right?

Yes. 

“Good night, Hyuck.” Mark whispers..

Donghyuck was already fast asleep. 

Across the room, Jeno snorts unattractively (as unattractive as Lee Jeno could get, which wasn’t very unattractive at all).

-x-

“Are you going home for the winter break?” Asked Donghyuck, his head resting on Mark’s lap. Mark’s hand started subconsciously playing with the younger boy’s hair.

“I’m not sure. I need to ask my brother about it.” It was dependable, like the time their parents decided to take off to some far away mountain, leaving the two boys at Hogwarts. 

Mark never really quite knew, since he was not the best at keeping in contact with his parents. Whereas Taeyong, being the older, brotherly figure, was ridiculously meticulous in everything.

Donghyuck hummed. “Remind me to buy your brother a present, on our next trip to Hogsmeade.”

“Just get him a book. That’s what I did for like the past five years.”

“Did you do that this year?”

“No. I got creative.”

Donghyuck burst into giggles, “I highly doubt you’re capable of creative gifts. Didn’t you have to ask Ten for advice last year?”

Mark snorts. “you caught me. Fine, I got him a few bottles of Febreeze. Lavender scented Febreeze, to be exact.”

Donghyuck stared at him. “Febreeze? What the fuck is a febreeze, why the fuck does it come in a lavender scent?”

“Sometimes I forget you’re a pure blood, with absolute no knowledge of the muggle world.” Mark shook his head. “Febreeze is like, a cleaning spray, that hyung really likes.”

“Can’t he use magic to clean? He’s old enough to use magic without getting shit for it.” Donghyuck looked confused. “Why does he even clean, in the first place?”

“I think hyung’s just used to cleaning, manually. He cleans because.. Well….”

“Should I get him a cleaning manual? Donghyuck jokes.

“If you want my brother to murder you, go ahead. Be my guest.”

At that moment, a certain Lee Jeno stepped into the dorms. He stared at Donghyuck, and then at Mark, and then at Donghyuck again, before turning around, muttering something about how he’ll be so glad when the two have both gone home. 

Donghyuck burst out in a fit of giggles. “Your roommate still hates me.”

“I think he’s just slightly irritated, since his crush still won’t notice him. Despite his… Attempts to interact with him.”

“He never talks to Jaemin! It’s his own damn fault. I mean, falling down the magical stairs right in front of him didn’t really count, as it was just entertainment for the rest of us.”

Mark snorted, “first of all, you were the only one laughing your ass off.”

“It was funny, okay?!” Protested Donghyuck, a pout already forming on his face. “He just slipped and-“

“Fell down the stairs and proceeded to get a giant bruise on his ass, but hey, at least Jaemin asked him whether he was okay.”

Donghyuck bursted into giggles for the fourth time, “the only time Jaemin acknowledged his existence.”

“Must suck to have a crush who wouldn’t notice you, or even know you exist.” Mark stared at the ceiling. “Just imagine that.”

The mood immediately stopped being playful.

Mark looked down at the boy in his lap, “hyuck? Do you think Jeno has a chance?”

“I don’t know. But you know what’s worse than when having a crush who didn’t even know you existed? When your crush is an oblivious piece of shit who knows you exist but doesn’t know anything about your totally unsubtle hints,” snapped Donghyuck. 

Donghyuck was (oddly) still. That was weird, because Donghyuck always seemed like an energetic bundle of sunshine, who wasn’t able to stand still.

It sounded oddly personal, as if Donghyuck was the one, with a crush like that situation. 

Mark shrugged it off. Donghyuck would tell him, if he had a crush on someone. Right?

“That must really suck ass,” said Mark sympathetically.

“Tell me about it,” muttered Donghyuck, with something akin to a bitter tone. 

-x-

“Hurry up!” Whined Donghyuck. “God, Canada, you’re so slow.” He stomped impatiently in the snow. 

Donghyuck looked like an angel, with all the snow falling around him. 

For a moment, the thought that his best friend looked ethereal flashed in Mark’s head. 

He looked way too perfect for this world.

Donghyuck looked fed up by Mark’s completely normal pace, and impatiently grabbed Mark by the wrist, before running at full speed without even a warning.

“Hey!” Mark cried out in surprise. “You could’ve dislocated my shoulder, you know,” he teased, knowing very well Donghyuck had about the same amount of strength as a flobberworm.

Donghyuck laughed happily into the snow-filled air.

When they reached Hogsmeade village, they slowed down, but Donghyuck didn’t let go, Mark didn’t want to either.

When the pair entered The Three Broomsticks, Jisung stared from his seat, looking at their intertwined hands. 

“Oh my fucking god, thank god, you finally asked him out, Hyuckie. I’m so proud–”

Mark stared. “ What? Ask me out? Why would he ask me out?”

Renjun slapped Jisung on the arm. 

Jisung’s eyes widened, before blurting out incoherent phrases. 

“Y-Yes. Um, Hyuck says that.. Uhh... Y-you never quite uhhh…. Leave the castle, and that it’s been really hard f-forcing you out of the…. Castle. Yeah.”

“Oh.” 

Mark smiled. “Hyuck, why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve went out of the castle, if you were seriously concerned.”

Donghyuck stares at Renjun, who looked like he was five seconds away from bursting out laughing. 

Either that, or Renjun was seriously constipated. Mark hoped for both everyone’s sake (and Renjun’s), that it was the former.

But what would Renjun be laughing for?

“Oh. Um,” Donghyuck looked around nervously, before staring right at Mark. “I-“

“He’s a bit of a tsundere, isn’t he?” Remarked Ten, with a confused Taeyong trailing after him, “didn’t want you to know that he cared for him.”

Ten seemed to always.. Suddenly appear. It was odd, how the Slytherin would pop up at random places, at the most random times. 

Maybe it was due to his minions, and their grapevines of information (Mark was almost a hundred percent sure that almost half the people in the three broomsticks were indebted to Ten).

“What are you doing here, Ten-hyung?” Questioned Mark. “You usually spend way too much time at Zonko’s and maybe the bookstore.”

“I just wanted to save Hyuck’s sorry ass from something.”

Mark was very confused. “From what?”

“Oh. He’s completely saved from embarrassment and potential rejection.” Ten gave the boy in question a wink. “The rejection is very unlikely though.”

The tips of Donghyuck’s ears turned red. “I suddenly need to… Go to the bathroom.” He turned around, and sped towards the restrooms.

As he ran off, Renjun immediately narrowed his eyes at Mark. 

“You know that Donghyuck hates it when people touch him, right?”

“No, he… Doesn’t?” Mark furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “He’s super touchy with everyone.. Isn’t he?

Ten snorted. “He stiffens up, anytime someone even tries to touch him in any way. It took him three damn years to even warm up to me.”

“But he-“ Mark stopped, before thinking back. He remembers the times, where he had held Donghyuck too close to him. The occasional hand-holding. The way Donghyuck draped himself against Mark. 

Oh shit.

“Oh my god. Have I been making him super uncomfortable or something? Fuck.”

He could’ve swore he heard Renjun mutter an “Oh my god, you dense piece of shit.”

Mark made himself a note to thank whatever gods that existed, because at that moment, Donghyuck reappeared, grabbing Mark’s hand, hissing out a hurried message of, “we’ll be going now.”

Mark stared at their intertwined hands. Didn’t Renjun say Donghyuck hated being touched? Then how come…

At that moment, he chose not to dwell on it.

“Come on, let’s go. You still have to help me choose your brother’s present,” said Donghyuck without any of his usual cheekiness or bravado.

But as they soon as they left the Three Broomsticks, Mark felt impeccably guilty, letting go of Donghyuck’s hand. Renjun’s words echoing in his head.

“Hyuck, I’m really sorry,” apologized Mark. “Renjun told me that you really hated to be touched and-“

Donghyuck stared in disbelief.

“You are a dense piece of shit.”

“What did I do?” Cried Mark, completely bewildered.

“Mark fucking Lee. You are possibly one of the most stupid, dumbest people I’ve ever met in my fucking life. If not, the stupidest. I can’t believe just how fucking dumb you are.”

“I’m sorry?”

“I’m talking like, I-want-to fucking-hit-your-head-with-a-goddamn-hammer-because-chances- are-you’ll-actually-be-smarter stupid.” Donghyuck was lightly punching him, repeatedly on the stomach now. 

It didn’t hit him that they were only a few centimetres apart now, and that from far, they looked like a quarreling couple. 

“Have you not realized that I’ve had the most major ass crush on you, ever since the day we met?!” Screeched Donghyuck, glaring. 

Mark blinked, still processing the last part. “Was that... A confession?”

You can’t blame him for getting confused, unlike Taeyong and Ten, he didn’t have a shit ton of love-struck admirers confessing to him every other day (but now he was thinking about it, that one girl from his potions class was definitely flirting with him. Was he really that oblivious?).

“What the hell did you think it was?! A no-homo I love you, bro?”

“You..”

“Oh my fucking god. I’m trying to say I fucking like you. Before my adrenaline disappears, is it that hard to understand?!”

Mark’s brain chose the best moment to go completely blank on him. “T-Thank you.”

Donghyuck gaped in disbelief. His expression faltering into something else. 

“A thank you? A fucking thank you?! Really?” Donghyuck shook his head, “you know what, forget it.”

Donghyuck turned away and strided back into the three broomsticks, leaving Mark standing in the middle of the snowy street. With a vague feeling that he done fucked up, a really, really vague feeling.

-x-

They didn’t talk.

Mark went home with Taeyong, and spent Christmas with their usual Christmas traditions.

It felt slightly empty and very lonely, not receiving Donghyuck’s letters, the ones full that were full of completely random shit. Was he really that dependent on Donghyuck’s company?

When Mark returned to Hogwarts, he didn’t expect to see Ten angrily beelining towards him, with a worried-looking Yuta trailing after him. 

Yuta looked as if he was trying to warn Mark of something. 

Ten straight up slapped Mark in the face. Mark didn’t expect the ‘vertically challenged’, and overall innocent boy to have such a painful bitch-slap.

“Did you just… slap me?” Asked Mark in disbelief, his hand reaching for the blooming red handprint left on his cheek.

Ten wasn’t the type to resort to any type of physical violence: He preferred blackmailing and mentally pissing off other people instead. So, if Ten was willing to resort to violence, then that meant Mark had fucked up marginally.

“And you broke my child’s heart, so we’re even.” Spat Ten.

It was even more unusual to see the Slytherin boy glaring. 

Mark realizes that he had fucked up big time, when he saw Ten’s hand reaching for his wand, twirling it menacingly. He’s seen Ten duel before, and it wasn’t pretty in the slightest. He couldn’t help but gulp in fear.

“Did you just call Donghyuck your... child?” Asked Yuta, breaking the moment (Mark made a reminder to thank the Japanese boy for it).

“Damn right I did”, snapped Ten. 

“Mark-Motherfucking-Lee. You literally answered Donghyuck’s fucking confession by thanking him! Why? That boy spent three long ass years pining after you, I’d know, because I’m the one he goes to for help… But did you only say thank you to him? Can't you have rejected him nicely? If you were going to reject him of course.”

“I didn’t know what to say…” Mark trailed off...

Ten took a deep breath in, trying to keep his brain cells intact. “Do you...maybe like Donghyuck?” He suggested, still face-palming.

Mark froze. Before it occurred to him, he realized that it wasn’t normal between guys to casually cuddle, and it wasn’t normal to blush so much about it either.

It wasn’t a regular thing, for two people to care so much about the other.

That’s why he couldn’t ever say no to Donghyuck.

Motherfucking hell.

He liked Donghyuck.

“Oh shit,” he said out loud. “Oh my fucking god.”

Ten glared at him. “Congratulations, welcome to the ‘I’m gay’ club. Club memberships are permanent as hell, since we’re all going there anyways. Maybe if you realized both of these facts sooner, Hyuck wouldn’t have been crying his eyes out for half of winter break.”

The Slytherin paused for a moment to take another deep breath, before hissing. “Do you have any idea, on how hard it was to console him? You are a fucking piece of shit, I hope you know that.”

Mark winced. “Can I-“

“No.” Ten sent him yet another death glare. “You can go in your goddamn dorm, and think about your continuous stupidity. When you’re done preparing the best present and apology speech, you can come out of your pathetic little burrow, and maybe be worthy to talk to Donghyuck.”

Taeyong, from where he stood, still behind Mark, suitcase in hand, smiled. “Wow. Ten, I didn’t know you were such a protective mother hen.”

“I have a... minor soft spot for Donghyuck. That is all.” Ten stiffened.

“A soft spot, just like your soft spot for a certain Gryffindor Prefect?” Teased Yuta, a smirk on his face.

Across the hall, Johnny sneezed.

“Fuck off, he's cute,” snapped Ten, “and what the hell did I say about discussing my relationship?”

Yuta shrugged, “I'm your friend, therefore your blackmail does not work on me.”

Ten slapped his friend lightly on the shoulder. “Whatever. Nice talk, Mark, but I’ve got to go, I sent minion number-seventy-two to do a few things for me. You better make it up to my precious son.”

“Yes.. Hyung.”

He watched as the two Slytherin boys disappeared into the crowd, with the entire crowd moving aside for Ten, out of fear. He distinctly overheard Yuta saying something along the lines of, “minion seventy two’s weird, really sketchy. Maybe you should ask sixty three instead?”

-x-

To say Donghyuck was pissed off was an understatement. 

Mark wasn’t able to talk to him in an entire week, due to how much the Slytherin was determined to avoid him.

And let’s just say that Ten wasn’t the only one of Donghyuck’s friends that were mad at him. 

Renjun had sent him various death glares, mouthing fix your goddamn mess. Jisung sent Chenle to tell him that “Jisung tells you that you’re a fucking idiot. His words, not mine.”

Not to mention the occasional owl Jisung passive-aggressively sent him. Doesn’t sound very menacing, except that Jisung’s owls were highly trained and would peck Mark with their sharp beaks a few times just for the sake of it. One time, one of them went as far as using his head as a perch for the entire morning (Jisung, that piece of shit, couldn’t stop laughing).

Mark knew he had badly fucked up, but was it all necessary?

He had voiced his thoughts to Johnny a few nights back, but the prefect had shrugged.

“Imagine if the tables were turned. What if hypothetically, someone, like maybe Jaehyun, broke your brother’s heart? You’d glare at him too, wouldn’t you?”

Mark had stiffened, ready to fight someone. “Someone broke my hyung’s heart?”

Johnny simply gave him a look, “notice how you’re instantly ready to fight someone?”

Mark sighed in defeat, “alright, I see your point.”

There was only place, where Donghyuck wouldn’t even think of to trying to avoid Mark, and that was the dungeons. 

Funny enough, Mark has never quite been down there. 

It had always been Donghyuck invading the Gryffindor commons, or Mark’s dorm room (much to Jeno’s dismay). There was only one possible Slytherin who’d give it to him. 

Mark had avoided asking Ten anything, in fear of being stuck in Ten’s debt, but desperate times called for far more drastic measures. Even if drastic measures meant ending up as minion number seventy-two.

That afternoon, he went out of his way to locate the Slytherin.

“Ten-hyung!” He called, as he ran up to the aforementioned boy.

Ten looked at him with a knowing smile.

“Nice to see you, even if it is in the middle of the fucking halls.”

The Slytherin was very easy to find in the crowded hallways, despite his stature.

Most people, out of fear, chose to avoid him. Therefore, every time Mark saw a gaping hole in the sea of heads, he’d assume that’s where Ten was (probably with Taeyong or Yuta beside him).

“I need the password to the Slytherin’s dorms,” pleaded Mark.

Ten smirked, “Have you finally got your head out of your ass? You have to reflect, you know. Il faut réfléchir.”

Mark sighed. “Can I just have the password, please? Preferably without ending up as one of your minions?”

“What makes you think I’d just give it to you?” Ten leaned closer. The other passing students went right past them, assuming Ten was up to his usual. 

To be fair, he kind of was.

“Because you care about Hyuck as much as I do.”

Ten quirked an eyebrow.

“You’re less dense than I thought you would be. Which isn’t saying much, as your density levels are so high, but slightly less dense all the same.”

“.... T-Thanks?”

“If you want the password, ask your-“ Ten interrupted himself. “Well. Speaking of the devil, he shall appear.”

Mark looked around. Some part of him hoped it was Donghyuck, that Ten was talking about. 

Ten ran off, before pulling someone out of the sea of humans in the corridors. 

Ten pushed a confused Johnny in front of Mark. “Mister Seo can help you, since I’ve got a study thing with Taeyong. Your brother is going to slaughter me if I’m late again. Bye!”

Mark and Johnny stared at each other, like they were part of that one Spider-Man meme where they’re all pointing at each other super confusedly. 

Mark was the one who spoke first. 

“Johnny-hyung? Why would you know the password to the dungeons?”

Johnny stared. “I just finished a four metre long essay in class, so I apologize if my brain processing’s gone a little haywire from processing all that bullshit about transfiguration. Could you repeat that again, slowly. Please?”

“Why. The. Fuck. Do. You. Know. The. Password. To. The. Slytherin. Dungeon.”

“It’s a long ass story.” Johnny waved his question away. “Is this about Donghyuck?”

“Who else could it be about? Jisung?” 

“First of all, I’d just like to say Jisung’s a tiny demon. Second of all, don’t even try to be sarcastic with me, you little shit. I’m the guy you need help from, remember?”

“Please?”

Johnny laughed. “The password is Emerald.”

Mark ran off as soon as he heard what it was, ignoring Johnny’s offended shouts. 

Pausing and quickly turning, he realized he was going the wrong way. 

It didn’t really occur to him, that he didn’t quite know what to say to Donghyuck. He just assumed he’d know as soon as he got there. 

(Just like in the plots of those crappy k-dramas Taeyong secretly binge-watches).

True to what Johnny said, the painting swung open, and he raced up the stairs.

He clumsily bursted into Donghyuck’s room (he assumed it was Donghyuck’s room, based on the sign posted outside). 

Three pairs of eyes turned to stare at him.

“Can I have a moment with Donghyuck, please?” Requested Mark politely.

Jisung looked as if he was about to protest, if not for the fact that Renjun tugged his arm. 

Of course, Renjun shot him a death glare. “You better fucking fix this.” He muttered on his way out. 

Donghyuck looked anywhere but at Mark.

“Donghyuck…”

“I like you too,” he blurted out.

Donghyuck only nodded. “Ten-hyung already told me what you said to him.”

Mark gaped.

“Then why the everloving fuck did you still avoid the shit out of me?”

The Slytherin shrugged, “because you deserved it, you piece of dense fuck.”

“I-I’m sorry.”

“Damn right. You should be.” spat Donghyuck. “What kind of fucking idiot says thank you, after receiving a fucking confession?!”

“S-Sorry.”

The Slytherin stood up, striding towards Mark, stabbing a finger in his chest, “Listen here, Canada, you are possibly one-“

“Go out with me?”

Donghyuck stops, stiffening.

“You are a unromantic piece of shit,” muttered Donghyuck, as he wrapped his arms around Mark. “Did you at least bring me a rose?”

Mark shook his head, burying deeper against the younger boy’s neck. 

The two of them stayed in their embrace, still standing up. 

“Should I have brought a rose as part of the confession?”

“Is that even a question?” Donghyuck looked up at Mark. “You suck. I hope you know that.”

“Well… Is that a yes, or no?”

“I still hate you though.” His words were muffled, his head still pressed onto Mark’s torso. 

“I already said that I was sorry!”

“I’ll forgive only you, if you take me out on a damn date. Better be romantic this time.” The Slytherin boy finally detached himself from Mark.

Mark knew that this time, his cheeks were most definitely heating up for reasons other than the warmth of the slytherin dungeons.

Donghyuck left a small peck on Mark’s cheek, before lightly nudging him outside the door.

“Let’s go to dinner, shall we?”

-x-

No one was surprised when they saw the two holding hands, as they walked to the great hall. 

Although, Mark could’ve sworn he saw Jisung, Renjun, Johnny, and Taeyong, each silently handing a galleon to a very smug Ten.

“Congratulations for finally getting your head out of your ass.”

Mark rolled his eyes. “Thanks, Renjun.”

“Break his heart, and trust me when I say-” Ten’s threat was interrupted by Johnny, who placed a hand on his shoulder. The slytherin leaned into the touch, stopping his threat halfway through. “Just… Don’t hurt him again, okay?”

“He knows what he’s doing,” reassured Johnny.

Mark smiled. He finally does, doesn’t he?

In the end, everything was going to be okay, completely fine. 

The only way this could be anymore perfect was if Jeno finally manned up and talked to a certain Na Jaemin. 

But who was he kidding? That’s impossible.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading.
> 
>  
> 
> follow my [twitter.](http://twitter.com/chimeritie) also, go say hi to[ ali,](http://twitter.com/hokkaidos) aka the person I lost this fucking bet to.


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